A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
In the sh*wer

Mom and dotter take a sh*wer:

Dotter:  I need to make some tea!  (Grabs cup for rinsing hair, puts it under water coming from bathtub faucet.)

Mom:  Okay, now, dotter, I need an arm.  (Soaps up washcloth, begins washing off marker marks, realizes that this marker isn't easily washable, ACK!)  (Dotter twists around, one arm being scrubbed behind her, the other arm reaching out to the sh*wer door.)

Dotter:  Look!  I can make handprints! 

Mom:  Okay, other arm now!  (Dotter twists around the other direction, then brings leg up as mom suddenly has all her weight on the scrubbing devices, and plants wet foot on the sh*wer door...)

Dotter:  I can make handprints and footprints!

Mom:  Wow!  Okay, now, let's do a leg.  (Dotter lifts one leg up and mom begins scrubbing the "AIAA" on that knee in purple marker that doesn't wash away easily.  Dotter leans over, grabs two bathtub plugs with link chains, bends over and twists her leg so mom is holding a foot and trying desperately to scrub yet more marker.  The bathtub plugs get arranged on the floor of the bathtub and immediately become...)

Dotter:  Neigh!  Neeeiiiighhh!  Oh, no, mom, the horses are scared!  It's okay, boys, it's okay, there, there, everything will be all right...

Mom:  Other leg now.  (Dotter twists around in other direction, grabs the "reins", mom tries scrubbing off the "MPMV" on the other knee.)

Dotter:  I have to get in my carriage now!  (Dotter sits down, mom quickly rearranges hands so remaining foot doesn't twist dotter's knee, finishes scrubbing.)

Mom:  Now let's do your hair.  Can I borrow the tea?  (Gestures at the big cup filled with water.  Fills it up from the sh*wer water.)  Okay, lean your head back now, here it comes!

Dotter:  Ow!  Ow!  (Flinches back against sh*wer wall with big, disillusioned eyes aimed at mom.)  That's hot!

Mom:  Oops, sorry!  (Mom re-sets hot/cold ratio, refills cup, tries again.)  Is this better?

Dotter:  Yes.  Neigh!  Neigh!  Mom, we need to pack to go down to Big City!  What do I need to pack?

Mom:  (Soaping up hair.)  Well, let's see...you need clothes for tomorrow, and--

Dotter:  Okay!  I'm all done packing!

Mom:  (Rinsing off hair.)  --what about pajamas?

Dotter:  (Reaching down for her "horsies"--mom stops rinsing.  Say, impatiently:)  I've already got everything packed!  (Stands up, mom quickly finsihes rinsing.)

Mom:  Conditioner now...

Dotter:  (Twists around and sits down in bathtub.)  We're going!  Bye!  We're going to TIMBUCKTU!

Mom:  (Finishes rinsing the conditioner.)  Okay, it's my turn now.  (Mom mentally dashes perspiration off her brow and relaxes--this person holds still while being washed!)

Dotter:  Okay!  Now you're my grandma!  Grandma, grandma, we've come to visit!  Where can I put my horses?  Neigh, neigh!  Grandma, do you have a barn for my horsies?

Mom:  (Eyes closed, soaping up hair, gestures towards the wall.)  The barn is over there.

Dotter:  Neiiiiiggghhh!  Neiiiiggghhh!  Oh, no, the horsies are scared!  Can you help me, Grandma?

Mom:  (Rinsing off shampoo, reaches down to the "horsies"--bathtub plugs--)  Okay--

Dotter:  Neiiiigghhhh!  Neiiiggghhhh!  ("Horsies" pull away.)  Oh, that won't work, I need to get them in the barn!  Help me, Grandma!

Mom:  I'll open the barn doors.  (Putting conditioner in her hair, bends down, "opens" the doors, Dotter puts "horsies" on the bathtub shelf.)

Dotter:  Now we need to get food and water for them.  And oats!

Mom:  I'm done!  I need to dry off!  (Thankfully reaches out the sh*wer door for the towel, dries off, steps out--wet head of brown hair pokes head out of door after her, and calls--)

Dotter:  Oh!  Mister!  I need to get some milk for my grandma, she's run out!

Mom:  (Hands dotter imaginary milk.)  There you go!  (Getting dressed.)

Dotter:  Thank you!  Oh!  Grandma!  (Calling to mom.)

Mom:  Yes, dear?  (Combing hair.)

Dotter:  I got you some milk!  (Reaches out to hand the imaginary milk to "grandma".)

Mom:  Why, thank you so much, dear!  That was so very nice of you!  (Grabs dotter's towel.)  Time for you to get out now.

This is why sh*wering together is very rare.

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posted by Kate @ 8/19/2006 11:27:00 AM  
  • At 8/19/2006 02:00:00 PM, Blogger Prezzie said…

    Absolutely wonderful story Kate. I think it would make a great children's story. OmegaDotter and the Adventures of Shower Horsies. LOLOL!

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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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