A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
Furious
Way to go, folks. An adult Korean adoptee dares to voice her opinion on her own blog about some things that adoptive parents say, and how they key into her experiences, thoughts, and emotions about international adoption... And y'all go and hound her with nasty comments and nasty private emails to the point where she feels she has to move her blog and make it invitation only. WAY to go. What, are you Republicans or something?? (←This is a joke, folks. Sort of.) For more info, check out Amber's post. And please, please, please do not dismiss or denigrate adult adoptees who write about the aspects of international adoption that bother them by calling them "angry" or "maladjusted" or "poorly parented" or anything of the sort. Don't label their entire lives by one aspect. For instance, I am angry about this whole meshugginah mess, about the mish-mosh that NCLB, hand-in-hand with certain aspects of educational pedagogy, has made of our schools, about the way our civil rights are eroding under the current administration, about the fact that perfectly happy, ordinary families who happen to be gay are being forced out of areas they've lived in for a long time. Pray tell, does this make me "maladjusted"? Does this mean OmegaGranny and OmegaGramps raised me poorly? Gah. Gimme a break, people. Voices of adult adoptees are important to those of us who have adopted from China, Vietnam, Russia, Ethiopia, Korea. Because, even though some of you dismiss those voices as "angry", you'd darned well better listen to their experiences. Because, one day, your "precious" (don't get me started on APCer's latest evidence of humor-impairment) children may be feeling very similar things, asking very similar questions. And you will get all bent out of shape when adoptive parents of that time decide to call your child "angry" and "maladjusted" and "poorly parented". Goddman, it's noogie time!
posted by Kate @ 3/29/2006 04:38:00 PM  
7 Comments:
  • At 3/29/2006 07:41:00 PM, Blogger Brooklyn Mama said…

    I am really sorry to hear that the blog in question is gone. I really appreciated her voice and her experience - even if it was hard to read sometimes. Maybe especially because of that.

     
  • At 3/29/2006 08:55:00 PM, Blogger Scott Ocheltree said…

    It seems Ji-in may have had other reasons for moving her blog. She's a big girl, and isn't intimidated by Self-righteous a-parents. Which makes sense, as they are only hurting themselves. I was actually in awe of the patience and courtesy she was able to show people who appeared to deserve very little of either.

    Either way, you are right that Amber did a good job of assessing the situation. Now will someone please help me believe we can help change the before-mentioned Self-righteous a-parents through intelligent dialog? I so want to believe that!

     
  • At 3/30/2006 08:35:00 AM, Anonymous kate said…

    Angry? Maladjusted? Bloody hell, things never f-ing change. It's just a new set of jerks every time you turn around.

    Takes me back, I tell you, takes me back. Those two do seem to be the favored labels for any adoptee who speaks up about, well, pretty much anything. Unless we are all sunshine and smiles and think the whole thing is just fabulous and we're so grateful and how dare anyone besmirch the perfect adoption process anywhere in the world... then we are angry and maladjusted.

    So we talk and talk and talk and talk for years and years and years and years and yeah, some folks DO understand. And then some of us give up for a while, because every day there's someone new calling us angry and maladjusted.

    The world suddenly seems very large and scary when the labels keep coming after all this time.

    Well, this turned into a rant, and Amber did say it very well, as did you. I was sorry to see what her first comment was (point, missed!), but what can ya do.

    And, Scott, HA! at your "behave" comment. It ain't all bad... there's folks out there like OmegaMom and now you.

     
  • At 3/30/2006 09:22:00 AM, Blogger MomEtc. said…

    Sucks....I think I know who you are talking about. I only got the chance to read from her blog once and would have liked the chance to read it agian. Maybe she'll rethink???

     
  • At 3/30/2006 09:22:00 AM, Blogger MomEtc. said…

    Sucks....I think I know who you are talking about. I only got the chance to read from her blog once and would have liked the chance to read it agian. Maybe she'll rethink???

     
  • At 3/30/2006 12:34:00 PM, Anonymous Mrs Figby said…

    I exchanged email with her yesterday, and as Scott said, she moved her blog for other reasons totally unrelated to the brouhaha over the NYT article (although everything you say about said brouhaha is still true.)

    She specificially told me that she eats self-righteous a-parents for breakfast. Heehee!

     
  • At 4/06/2006 06:23:00 PM, Blogger Mia said…

    Yes, our voices are important! I just wanted to stop in and thank you for saying so, it's a refreshing attitude that you have.

    The adoptive parent links on my blog are sparse so I'm glad I ran across yours!

    Thanks Omega!

     
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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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