OmegaDotter was invited to her first birthday party. OmegaMom has been intimidated by the idea of kids' birthday parties. She reads magazines, is the problem, magazines filled with themes and party favors and games, all designed for Alpha Moms, not shiftless mommy-pretenders like OmegaMom. It's kind of like Martha Stewart for moms. So OmegaMom chickened out this year when it came time for OmegaDotter's birthday, and we did what we've been doing for three years now: a cake, party hats, presents for the dotter, and two attendees, OmegaMom and OmegaDad. So this a.m., OmegaMom and OmegaDotter hit Target for a giftie for X., the birthday boy. OmegaDotter sees a set of HotWheels^TM and proclaims that this is what we should get. OmegaMom sees a box filled with goo and bouncing things that is an activity for parent and kid, and, in a fit of madness (o mothers out there, please forgive me!) purchases it as well. (Well, heck, it seemed really interesting!) Then OmegaMom scouts out the address, locates it, and realizes there's 45 minutes until the party, and OmegaDotter is close to naptime. An effort is made to drive around and hypnotize dotter into napiness, but OmegaDotter, bouncing with excitement about the party, makes it an exercise in futility. OmegaMom has visions of dotter going ballistic at the party. Eeek. We arrive at the scene to find OmegaDotter's One And Only True Love, C., walking with his mom to the house. All is well, thinks OmegaMom. And then the truth arrives: X.'s dad is a single parent. X.'s dad hasn't read all those stupid magazines. X.'s dad shoos the kiddos upstairs to play, unloads chips and hotdogs and hamburger patties, and fires up the grill. What?!?! No "theme"?? No party favors? No games? No! What a relief! It was just kids playing and having a grand old time with X.'s toys, then eating hotdogs, burgers, and chips, and then having a cake. What kind of a Martha-Stewart-esque scene was this??? OmegaMom watched the frenzy of kids crowding around X. when time came to open presents, and winced at each "Ooooh!" and "Ahhhh!" and "AWEsome!", thinking of OmegaDotter's HotWheels^TM (which she was very excited about) with dismay. Guess what the first toy to be broken out of the package and played with was? The HotWheels^TM. Hot damn. It was fun. OmegaMom's feelings of inadequacy have been assuaged. Fifth birthday, here we come.