A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
Silence
Just before Thanksgiving, a person posted some links to news stories about orphanages buying and selling babies on the Big List (APC). Baby-selling orphanage in Hunan cracked down Hunan orphanages sells babies, says report Charity workers in Hunan orphanage arrested for selling babies Since then, there have been maybe--maybe--20 posts about this. This, on a list that averages 3000 messages per month. A commenter on Soper's blog says that she was sent a private email asking her to please not talk about the recent stories on the list. Someone posting on Adoption Parenting (an awesome resource for adoptive parents of all stripes, by the way) says that the clippings about this story are definitely going into her daughter's lifebox. Then she asks, somewhat puzzledly, why aren't there more posts about this on the various lists? Well, I'm wondering, too. My POV: I'm worried. The orphanages that bought/sold/traded babies did so with some orphanages in the province OmegaDotter came from. What if...? What if, contrary to our original assumptions, OmegaDotter was stolen from her first parents? What if the story we've been telling her all along is just a pack of lies? There are plenty of adult adoptees who found out that the stories their adoptive parents told as they were growing up were just so much nonsense...adult adoptees who find that, yes, they were stolen from their original families, sold to orphanages, given made up origins, then sent on their way to adoptive families across the world. Naturally, adult adoptees who have this background are angry--at the system, at the corruption, at their adoptive parents. All along, one of the things that drew us to the China adoption program was that it was stable, ethical, the children available for adoption were truly abandoned and truly needed parents. The answers to ethical questions that I saw related to other paths to adoption, particularly international adoption, seemed crystal clear in the case of China. And now, I'm left wondering: what if it's not so? What if this is the tip of the iceberg? These people were selling babies to other orphanages, in other provinces. What were the people at these other orphanages doing, in their turn? How far does this go? Does the soaring demand of Western parents for adoptable infants from China, and the accompanying mandatory donation to the orphanage, inevitably cause corruption of this sort? But not a word--not a peep--do you hear on the big lists. All is quiet. Don't talk about it, don't think about it, maybe it'll just go away, la, la, la, I can't hear you! My personal fear is that this is the beginning of a very large crackdown. Of course, such a crackdown would be good for the system--rout out corruption, clean the system up, make sure that the babies that are available are not the result of kidnappings, baby-buyings. But such a crackdown would probably require a suspension of international adoptions while the CCAA got down to the bottom of things. (Please note: I am not claiming anyone else said this is what is happening. This is not a rumor of what's going on. This is my fear only.) And since OmegaDad and I are thinking of number two, my selfish side wants the whole story to just go away. The other side of me looks at OmegaDotter and hopes and prays that she was not stolen away from her parents from some province far, far away from where we adopted her. I hope to god that she is, indeed, from the province where we adopted her, that, if she wants to try to locate her birthfamily as an adult, that there is, actually, some hope. But, in the meantime, silence. Shhh. Let's not talk about it. Categories: [Hunan Situation] [Adoption Issues]
posted by Kate @ 12/01/2005 11:41:00 AM  
2 Comments:
  • At 12/01/2005 06:42:00 PM, Blogger bh said…

    The articles are pretty disturbing. And depressing, especially since there is no way of knowing how frequent it is.

    Our daughter was adopted 4 years ago; there is no way that she will not know the facts one day. Even if we tried, we could not keep it from her. We won't ignore those articles. But how to deal with it? I just don't know. I guess finding out as much information as possible.

     
  • At 12/02/2005 08:41:00 AM, Anonymous LizC said…

    my OmegaDaughter comes from the province involved, in fact from one of the orphanages listed in the articles I read. Makes me sick to think that she might not have really been an abandoned heathen waif that we could rescue.... oh, wait...

    Really. Our orphanage-specific list has had a lot of discussion of the articles, though of course no one knows what to do about them.

    I think about all the documentation we got with the adoption-- and I have always wondered if the "finding place" and the name of the person who found her was a total fabrication-- especially the "finding ad" that was placed in a newspaper, looking for her bio family (which did not come to us from the officials, but which we do have). What if the newspaper was just nowhere near the people who were looking for her? Ugh. Makes me sick.

    I guess the best we can do a this point is to be clear with our kids about our intentions, our part in the whole system. Be clear about all the possibilities, as well, when the kid is old enough to understand, and gulp hard when the child gets pissed off. Then help her figure out what she needs to do about it.

    It is so ugly. All of it is so ugly.

     
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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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