A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
Wakefulness
Do you ever lie awake at night, with lists running through your head, that won't go away and let you sleep? If I'm not sacked out at 9 p.m. with OmegaDotter, I tend to stay up late. Then I'll snuggle into bed with OmegaDad, striving to keep my ice-cold feet away from the lovely temptation of the back of his knees (succumbing to the temptation is, I am sure, a valid excuse for murder). And then the lists begin. Christmas letter...cards...have to put old Christmas letters up on the website so the folks who haven't gotten one in three, four years can see what's happening...what to get the Dotter...what to get OmegaDad...have to clear the top of the glass-front bookcase (dear Gawd, there's a shitload of dusty stuff up there!) to put the mini-tree and other decorations on...have to peer at the top of the bookcase and entertainment center, clear those off...find some stocking hangers...oh, lord, I have to put together a basket or two for the holiday party raffle at work...I want an iPod or similar player...oooh, those laptop prices are sooo tempting...damn, I need to get my shit together and get the dependent care flex-account claim in, it's not like it's a real savings account...but I'm glad I haven't done it since March, because it'll be a nice chunk o' change to have around the holidays...I'd really like to finish painting the beams in the living room...I wonder if we'll have enough $$ so I can order those double-cell blinds...will that really help us save money in the winter?...I wonder how much they cost...damn, OmegaDad forgot to clean the air intake filter again this weekend...maybe I'll just hire someone to come & crawl into the crawlspace to see how our floor insulation is doing...surely I can pull myself together to get my old clothes out of the old dresser, haul them off to the Goodwill...gotta do it before the end of the year, so we can get the deductions in this tax year...I can do one hour a night after work, right?...yeah, so I'm a lazy SOB, damn, you know I'm not going to do that...how the hell am I going to function at work tomorrow, I've got to get some sleep...we really, really need to get OmegaDotter's room set up... Blah, blah, blah. It just gets started, and then there I am, it's 2 a.m., the little mental rats are running faster and faster in their little exercise wheel. There's a theory I've heard, that if you just turn on the light and write down all the to-dos on a pad, it short-circuits this roundabout. And then I get to sleep, and an hour later OmegaDotter comes dashing out of the bedroom and snuggles into bed with us and starts doing The Foot Thing. Remember the tales of the "Chinese Water Torture"? Where the person being tortured is tied down, and a drop of water goes splish...splish...splish onto one spot on the torturee's body until the physical sensation becomes excruciatingly painful? OmegaDotter's Foot Thing can result in the same sensation. She's learning--now, if I say, "No Foot Thing, Dotter!" in a grumpy, sleep-laden voice, she hears it subconsciously and tries to stop. But it's a compulsion of hers. It makes her feel soothed and comfortable. I just wish she could transfer it to, say, a pillow rather than a body! Can you tell I didn't get much sleep last night? Categories: [This 'n That]
posted by Kate @ 11/28/2005 06:23:00 PM  
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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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