PostSecret has some sweet secrets, some scary secrets, some sad ones. Today there was one that made me stop, and think, and realize that my attitudes have changed. Or maybe, I think about some aspects of things much more than I used to (whadda surprise).
In the midst of the postcards, there was one that said simply, "two months after cheating on me, my boyfriend got an email from the girl he slept with--she wrote to tell him she was pregnant. i erased the email and he has NO idea."
Given the curlicues and embellishments of the writing, my supposition is that the writer of the postcard is about 16.
Aside from the fact that this is a really good illustration of the perils of sharing your email password with someone else...
Think about someone else for a change, why don'tcha?!
Your guy slept around. He knocked a girl up. She's pregnant.
I'm sure it's hard for you to do (obviously), but try to put yourself in her shoes.
You, too, could be pregnant.
You, too, could be pregnant and alone.
You, too, could be wondering why the schmuck who knocked you up hasn't bothered to answer your email.
You, too, could be trying desperately to figure out whether you should get an abortion or have the baby. (Maybe you all live in a state like South Dakota, in which case this is a moot point...)
You, too, could be trying desperately to figure out whether to raise the child yourself or to turn to adoption.
Your boyfriend needs to do a few things--like (a) learn to use a condom; (b) don't share his email password; (c) get checked for STDs; (d) call this other girl and find out what her status is; (e) help with expenses or provide a legal signature on a legal adoption if that's what he and the mother-to-be decide on.
This is, amazingly enough, not about you. Your boyfriend may have fathered a child. Your little interference in his email may mean he misses out on a lot of heartache and joys and responsibilities that entails.
Your boyfriend may find out all about this stuff when he gets served with paternity papers to support the child. GASP! YES! This can happen! Because lemme tell you, child--if your boyfriend happened to knock up my dotter, you betcha I'd be finding out who is the equal partner in this situation and making sure he took responsibility.
OmegaMom wanders off, growling and shaking her head.