A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
Hair: The Drama
Long beautiful hair Shining, gleaming, Streaming, flaxen, waxen Give me down to there hair Shoulder length or longer - Lyrics to Hair OmegaDotter has "down to there hair". It's long, beautiful hair. Shining, gleaming, streaming, silken, soft. It is a Pain In The Ass. Oh, not for OmegaDotter! No, no! It's a PITA for OmegaMom. Y'see, OmegaMom has just a very few things she's a stickler about, and one of those is OmegaDotter's hair. If she's going to wear it long, she's going to by gosh and by gory have combed hair. So we have this Daily Drama. OD gets dressed (with help from mommy). OD gets her shoes and socks on (with help from mommy). Then comes...The Hair. You would think OmegaMom was murdering her dotter, what with the wails and screams and drama. This is especially true if OmegaDad has (God forbid) forgotten to use conditioner when washing the dotter's hair. We have twisting, we have turning, we have a head yanked away while the comb is in mid-tangle, eliciting yet more screeches. This can escalate into A Scene, alas. This morning, it did escalate. Weapons of mass tantrumming were deployed. OmegaMom sought to escape the drama by going into the parental bedroom and closing the door. The Drama Queen followed. OmegaMom sought escape in the bathroom (closing the door). The Drama Queen followed. OmegaMom, at the end of her rope, picked the dotter up, plopped her onto her bed, grabbed the timer and set it for 5 minutes. More drama. We have discussed the concept of choices. "OmegaDotter, you have a choice, you know. If you want long hair, it must be combed; otherwise it will get all tangled and matted up and look like the matted hair on Dawg's butt. Do you want that?" A misery-ridden dotter, cuddled onto her mommy's lap with a comforting thumb popped in her mouth, shakes her head against mommy's shoulder. "Well, your other choice is to have short hair. It wouldn't get as tangled, and we wouldn't have this scene. Do you like this scene?" "Nooooo!" the dotter wails at the thought of her hair being cut. And another mute shake of the head against mommy's shoulder. This morning's drama lasted 45 minutes. Yes. Forty-five minutes. Argggghhhh! The other threat, of course, is to have OmegaDad do the daily hair combing. This is, if possible, worse. "But Daddy doesn't dooooo it riiiiight!" Picture OmegaMom rolling her eyes. OmegaMom, when ranting at co-workers about it today, was assured that the same thing happened with others' daughters. The lone male, slouching in a chair and listening in with a bemused expression, trumpeted his self-proclaimed hard-assedness, and claimed that he wouldn't be caught in this dilemma. Nope, nosirree! He'd cut it (the drama, not the hair) off at 5 minutes, none of this wishy-washy stuff, kiddo would get spanked and that would be that. (He is a very handsome, charming bachelor, currently working his way through all the nubile young ladies available in town.) Hah. We women laughed in his face. We informed him that the worst offenders were the dads, who turn into mush as soon as they are presented with a little girl baby, and who cave at the merest hint of tears. We looked at each other and lifted eyebrows, as if to say, "Just you wait, buddy!" One of OmegaMom's co-workers said that one memorable morning she threatened her daughter with shaving it all off, and actually got as far as getting out the hair clippers she used to buzz-cut her husband's hair. This is, in OmegaMom's opinion, somewhat drastic...but, oh, the urge is there! Anyway, OmegaMom is seriously contemplating the hair salon this evening.
posted by Kate @ 3/15/2006 05:43:00 PM  
  • At 3/15/2006 06:43:00 PM, Anonymous Theresa said…

    Oh wow do you ever make me feel better about our struggle every Tuesday/Thursday to have dd ready for preschool on time. Actually the worst time is getting her ready for dance class on Wed. afternoons.

    Gotta love those "bi-polar" 3-4 year olds!

  • At 3/15/2006 06:44:00 PM, Blogger Christy said…

    I got drastic over our daily hair dramas... she was warned, she went into drama one too many times, and I cut it. It went from below her shoulder blades to two inches above her shoulders.

    It's getting long again - well past her shoulders, and the daily drama doesn't happen. She likes it long, and knows it won't stay long if she can't get it combed without losing it.

    She did launch into drama queen last week, and I calmly told her if she couldn't stand to have it brushed then we should cut it again. She quieted right down.

  • At 3/15/2006 08:58:00 PM, Blogger PAgent said…

    Ah yes. Been there, done that. The girl has fine, straight hair. The wife and I had visions of long flowing tresses, done in braids, ponytails and pigtails. And if we started when she was a toddler, it would be long and silky by the time she was a teen.

    And God said "HA". The girl would not brush it. The girl screeched and wept when a brush was dragged through it. We went through fancy shampoos and expensive detanglers. No amount of threats or cajoling could make her take care of her hair herself. We fought this battle for YEARS until Mom and Dad said "Enough!" and got her hair cut as short as a tomboy's.

    And that's where we've been for about four years. She still has to be reminded (and reminded, and reminded) to brush her hair, but at least she can do it.

    And the wife watches our daughter play with the neighbor kid's silky blonde hair, and put it into braids, and she can't decide whether to weep or strangle her own child.

  • At 3/15/2006 11:31:00 PM, Anonymous LizC said…

    they make this spray detangler stuff.. smells sort of perfumey and chemical (though I think california baby makes one that might not be so terrible) but it does work. Spray it on and comb the snarls out with more ease.

    not that I really know, of course, since my DD has less hair than most infants. She does have this odd patch at the back that gets longer than the rest, and it is fine and wispy and it does get tangly and occasionalyl need such treatment.

    I bet you'd only have to cut it once and she'd get it and get over it fast. Right now the threat just doesn't have the right impact.... cut it off and let it grow and see if the threat closes down the tantrum a bit faster in the future.

  • At 3/16/2006 02:57:00 AM, Blogger Miss Cellania said…

    I hate to discourage you, but let me tell you about my NINE year old...

    She has hair down to her butt. Yesterday, she asked me to help comb it after her morning shower. It was a mess, even with extra conditioner applied, it took forever to comb. "How long has it been since you've combed this?" I say.

    "The last time I took a bath" she answers. ! Thats been three days!

    How old is she gonna be before I can trust her with the TINIEST pieces of self-care?

    Her little sister is much worse. Fotunately, she cuts her own hair down to the nubbin.

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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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