A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
People with gross feet, Arise!
Among the harrowing and/or shocking secrets posted at PostSecret this week is this screed against people with "gross feet" who wear open-toed shoes in public. Well, dayum. I have been subjected to my first hate speech! I feel the need to rise up with my gross-footed brethren, march upon the White House, and demand fairness and equity for hot ugly toes. After all, it's summer. It's hot. Toes get all sweaty and squished inside closed-foot shoes during summertime. People with gross feet know that the sweat and squishing makes those gross feet...well...grosser. Why should people blessed with terrific tootsies by God or nature or the Kozmik All use that beauty to crush those of us not as blessed beneath the heels of their shoes? This is unfair! This is foot-ism, dammit! Do pretty toes carry their owners further, faster, better? No, I say! I dare say my pudgy toes with their fungus-ridden toenails (yes, still, but I haven't really been proactive in dealing with the fungus) can march me carrying a placard of protest just as easily as the dainty toes belonging to that scornful soul danced her to the mailbox. Pooey on you, Ms. Hates-Ugly-Feet! I feel a class-action lawsuit under the anti-discrimination laws coming on. The only fair way to deal with this is for all people to wear work boots all summer long. That way, no-one knows if the toes are pudgy or pretty, and all people's toes are hot and sweaty no matter how pretty they are. Okay, now that my harangue is done, what gives? Do people really spend their precious summer hours staring at other people's feet and toes, judging them like it's the Foot Olympics? Strolling along the sidewalk in the park, is someone's soul really filled with hatred at the sight of my plebian feet in their shabby Tevas as I play with the dotter? I admit I like a nicely turned pair of strappy high-heels on feet with a nice pedicure, bright red nail polish gleaming in the sun. On other people's feet. It just ain't gonna happen here. First off, it's been so long since I've worn high-heels that my wonky ankle will wobble right off that oh-so-sexy heel, landing me in a painful pile on the sidewalk. The highest pair of heels I've worn in eight years is about an inch-and-a-half high. (The wedding pumps were 2-1/2 inches high.) Secondly, my toenails are beyond redemption. The only way to get my toenails to look nice and gleaming and polished is for me to indulge in a highly expensive set of fake toenails. Given the fungus-promoting capacity of such things, you can bet that I'm not going to do that. While I love Great Grandma dearly, this is something that she would embrace. To her, wearing "ugly" clothes ranks right up there with Original Sin. Having been brought up by Beatnik parents, who had some quite scruffy looking friends who were damned interesting and lots of fun to be with, the tendency to judge others by how well put-together their outer shell is was sort of brainwashed out of me. Oh, I appreciate "kemptness" and cleanliness, trust me. And I do have my limits on how non-judgmental I am. But if I'm with interesting and fun people, I'm not going to be wasting my time staring at their feet and deciding if they should be hung by their toes because they're exposing my tender sensibilities to their ugly feet.
posted by Kate @ 8/01/2006 06:23:00 PM  
2 Comments:
  • At 8/01/2006 07:52:00 PM, Blogger RichardQuerin said…

    I always used to claim I had beautiful feet (why exactly I'm not entirely sure). While they've perhaps become a little more worse for wear over the last several years, I've seen enough tattered tootsies to still hold mine out in pride. My wife's 99 year old grandmother has feet that look at least 108. She's got one toe that is permanently bent up at the knuckle (is it even called a knuckle on a toe?) that is forever known as a 'hammer-toe'. I'm pretty sure that's not a medical term, but more likely an indication of how it could be fixed.

    You have truly lit up the end of an exceptionally crappy day for me. Thank you. :)

     
  • At 8/01/2006 08:11:00 PM, Blogger PAgent said…

    I can't stand to wear shoes. Oh, I wear them all day, but I shuck them off as soon as I get home. Summers are a problem, because I can't run around outside in bare feet (too many stickery things) but my feet get too hot in shoes.

    In an attempt to get some sandals that might compensate for my aging and flattening feet, I got my first pair of Birkenstocks. I've avoided them my entire life because I didn't want to be branded a filthy hippie.

    Ye Gods, I love them. I should have purchased a pair years ago. I like them so much I've even (gasp) worn them to the grocery store.

     
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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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