A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
Dream a little dream
I had a dream that I was stalking a blogger. Well, to me, it wasn't stalking. Y'see, I found her website, and some pictures on her website. Two of the pictures made it very clear that she currently lived in the building where I went to elementary school. This is it: Anyway, I just had to meet her, to tell her how excited I was that she lived there, and did she know that was a school at one time?? So I crashed her wedding. There she was, very tall and blonde and elegant, trying to get married (though there weren't any wedding guests), in a huge ballroom with black and white checkerboard marble tiles. I was following her around everywhere she went, she was trying desperately to get away from me, and the more she withdrew, the more I pursued. I was a real pest. Excuse me while I blush in humiliation for my dream self. I woke up, humiliated. Then I had a dream where I went to visit one of the local FCC families with OmegaDotter. The dotter, alas, was being rambunctious. The hostess (also tall, blonde, and elegant) was being gracious but distant. Dotter had to go potty; hostess directed us to "a place where she'll be more comfortable", which was a child's potty seat perched in front of a big glass window which gave a beautiful view of the river/lake that the house was perched over. Above the potty chair was a series of hand-drawn educational posters for the hostess's daughter. Really good hand-drawn educational posters. One of them was a step-by-step of how to go potty with illustrations. "Mary lifts the lids up", "Mary takes her undies down", etc. I felt inadequate. After all, OmegaDotter doesn't have hand-made educational posters on construction paper dotting the walls of our house. Then, other people from FCC started arriving. They'd nod at me, pass me and OmegaDotter by, head into the living room and start chit-chatting with the hostess. After this had happened three or four times, I noticed a (beautifully hand-written) invitation to an FCC meeting. Which I hadn't heard of. I felt unloved and inadequate. Why didn't I get one of those hand-crafted invitations? I woke up, feeling inadequate. Think my dreams are trying to tell me something?? It's related to work, I'm sure. I've got a huge project that is coming to a crescendo this month, and it's mine, all mine. Oh, goody. Monday night, I went to bed, turned off the lights, waited for OmegaDad to come to bed, and started doing lists in my head. The lists got longer and longer, more and more things I have to accomplish to get everything to funnel down into a nice, neat package by the end of the fiscal year. I got panicky. The lists wouldn't stop. I was afraid I would forget something. The only thing to do was to get up, boot OmegaDad from the computer, and start typing up the lists. An hour of typing, the lists were all "on paper" and winging their way to my work email, and I stumbled off to bed. And promptly went to sleep, to dream about chasing poor, innocent bloggers and crash FCC parties I wasn't invited to. Bleah. Wake me up when it's July 5th, wouldja?
posted by Kate @ 6/01/2006 05:19:00 PM  
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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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