I read that article too and thought, how odd to think that China is going to be such a global player...

Anyway, I also have trouble in real life. I just signed S up for a pre-gymnastics class in town. She will actually go to this class with kids that will be in her graduating class in our town. Most of her (and my) friends are from other towns.

We do have a connection to her Jewish identity via our temple. That IS important to us...

Hope you feel better. Sinus infections are terrible

Your social skills sound exactly like mine, making it hard to make friends in general. I understand what you mean about feeling like a "leech" or maybe pushing your nose in where it doesn't belong. It's hard because essentially we are using race as a criterion for making a friendship with someone....and that's super-awkward to begin with.

For us, I think part of the answer will be in sending Pippi to Chinese school. I'd like one run entirely be Chinese people, if possible. We are going to stay in a diverse area, so surely the Pip will have friends who are Asian and have Asian parents. We have thought on and off about choosing a church expressly for the community it will provide and we would choose a diverse congregation. I've even though about maybe joining a Buddhist temple that has a substantial Asian/Chinese population. I'm trying desperately to learn Mandarin partly because I really am hoping to make that connection. I think Buddhism (as kind of a life philosophy) we might be able to swing.

I read the NYT article and, as a mother to a 6-year-old daughter adopted from China, I was excited. I had thought for a long time it would be great to have a Chinese au pair so Rachel would have someone around all the time from her birth culture -- not that we need an au pair since I work part-time from home.

We have been sending Rachel to a great Saturday Chinese language and culture school for three years that is run by wonderful, native Chinese-speaking women. She'd rather do soccer, but at this stage of her life we're approaching this as non-negotiable. This summer, our local YMCA had a four-week Chinese culture and language day camp that she attended and really liked. We have some Asian friends we try to socialize with as much as possible. Some say we're still not doing enough, but there are only so many hours in the day.

Having said all that, sometimes she's more interested in learning French at school than in Chinese.

I just want to say "Yay!" to Omegadottir for being able to stay dry at night! Woohoo!

We are not quite there yet;)

I've failed miserably at exposing my Chinese daughter to Asian culture. She's nine now, and desperately wants to move someplace where there are more Chinese people. That would be... anywhere. Although she has a Brazilian boyfriend, an Egyptian best friend, and an Indian sister, she's looking for an anchor of her own.

I think about this a lot, even though we live in a small city with a fairly large Asian population. I dont know if we are doing enough or too much or stupid things, but we have a lot of options at least.

E goes to a Mandarin immersion preschool, entirely run by Asian women at this point. I love that. I feel very very spoiled to have it. Very spoiled. While we do have some Asian friends, I like how authoritative it is to have female Asian teachers-- role models, authority figures, the whole shebang. And that she's starting to speak some Mandarin? Wowza.

One of our local elementaries does a Mandarin immersion program for 3 hours a day. We are so hoping we can get her into the program (done on a lottery). If not, I think panic will ensue. And real pissiness, for sure.

So we are lucky and have lots of resources and a strong Asian community- from all over Asia, actually. Without those accessible, I'd be afraid we'd end out with mostly, um, Mulan. Yeech.

Spacemom--the connection with the Jewish identity is, in many ways, easier for you: it's *you*, and your heritage.

MomEtc--You nailed it exactly. You're in a good area for diversity, so that helps a lot.

PunditMom--Wow--a four-week Chinese camp?! That's fantastic! Maybe when the dotter is older, we'll ship her off to something like that. The heritage camp weekend was great, but it's over with pretty quickly. (And welcome!)

Theresa--Yeah, we're all up in the air about the dry-at-night! Took a while coming, but I had an opportunity to say, "Oops! We've run out of pullups!" and that was it. Woohoo!

Miss C.--That's very interesting...it shows that there *is* a need for some connection, something, like you say, "anchoring" the girls. Ahem. NYC would be a good place to go?! Are you still considering it?

Liz--You've got a really good thing going there, with the Chinese preschool and the immersion school. As for Mulan--well, it could be worse. At least Mulan is a vivid, take-charge kinda gal, eh? A female hero. I like that.

I don't know if I can "give" my girls an Asian role model. I don't know if parents can pick role models -- at least ones that will stick.

It's funny but I'm starting to stress about my girls not being in a bunch of Chinese stuff. We do go to language classes (me too), but that's about all we can handle financially and schedule wise. There are other parents that do Chinese dance, and there's a Chinese immersion school in our district now.

And while I start to stress that I'm not doing enough because so many people are doing so much more, another part of me screams "That's too much for a child to handle!"

Do I want to raise well-rounded, educated, and confident girls? Or do I want to raise well-rounded, educated, and confident Chinese girls? Are these mutually exclusive?

I think of myself, and my German heritage. My parents did nothing overly German. I learned my German cultural heritage from one of my grandmothers. My parents chose not to practice it. My sister chooses not to practice it. My brother lives it daily (he lives in Germany now), and I share it and incorporate things into our family.

And that's what I feel I should be doing for my kids -- teaching them the history and customs of China, like my grandmother taught me the history and customs of Germany. If they are interested, they will take it to heart and explore more on their own as they grow up. Like I did. Or they will decide to ignore it.

But I don't think au pairs, or language class, or dance classes can make my children any more Chinese or that they will take to the "role models" I have put before them.

Shit, this is long. Forgive me, OM. I think about this alot, and I am very conflicted. I worry I don't do enough, but I worry that if I do more, it will be too much. As it is , the 7-year-old is starting to push away from being Chinese.

Feel better. Drugs are wonderful.