A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
When momma ain't happy...

...ain't nobody happy.

There's a lot of stuff going on at work.

There was the Great Illness of 2007.

There's OmegaDad being out in the field A Lot.

There's an unending leakage of money.

There's the fact that Mommy spent an hour yesterday cleaning up the living room and the kitchen and the bedroom while dad and dotter were out of the house, only to have the stuff strewn across the living room and other rooms within half an hour of dad and dotter returning home.

There's OmegaDad taking a bitch of a graduate-level course this semester, which eats at all his free time.

Then there's the arthritis flare-up that went into overdrive this weekend, so that I kept waking up whimpering through the night.  The flare-up that doses of aspirin and ibuprofen (my love!) didn't do much of anything to combat.

So when I arrived back home from the office today and found that the strewage had multiplied, rather than consolidated...the arthritis hadn't cooled down...and OmegaDad had made cake as an activity, rather than taking the dotter out into the Lovely Sunlight to Play, then announced that He Had Had No Chance To Study in a put-upon tone...and Momma went into her bathroom only to discover that strewage had intruded there, as well...

Momma went into a Deep Funk.  Momma sat down on the floor of the bathroom in the dark and cried.  And cried.  And cried.  And wisted for a few nights away from home at a hotel, where there would be no strewage, no kiddie videos playing, no husband feeling put-upon for not being able to study, only to realize that we don't have the funds to allow for such a much-yearned-for retreat.

Then, when OmegaDad knocked on the door forty-five minutes later and asked, "Are you all right?" and Momma sobbed, "Nooooo!" and responded with "I'm miserable!", OmegaDad went away...!

Momma curled up on the floor and cried and cried and cried some more.

OmegaDad returned forty-five minutes later, knocked again, and this time came in, and Momma collapsed in his arms in tears, sobbing out an incoherent account of everything that was going wrong.

(It turns out that OmegaDad hadn't heard my "I'm miserable!" response...so my resentment of and misery at being ignored was misplaced.)

And then the dotter, who was curious, heard Mommy crying, which set the dotter off, too.  Ooba-dooba.  The dotter can't stand it when Mommy or Daddy is really upset.  I mean, she melts into a horrified mewling mess.

Unfortunately, Momma was in no mood for OmegaDad to split his attentions...so report me to DHS.  I'm afraid that OmegaDotter in a sorrowful heap leaking tears, rather than attracting sympathy and assistance from me, only elicited a gut-level, immature, childish, "God damn it!  I just want to be hugged and loved on by OmegaDad for a while--is that too much to ask?!?!"

After which little hissy fit, OmegaDad took the dotter off and Talked With Her, the end result of which was:

She and OmegaDad cleaned the living room.

She cleaned her room all by herself.

Momma feels somewhat better.

The arthritis flare-up is still there.  I'm still bone-tired.  We still don't have a magical infusion of cash (which we shouldn't need).  OmegaDad is still going to be out in the field, and is still enrolled in his bitch of a graduate class.

But at least there's no strewage all over the house.

Small steps.

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posted by Kate @ 2/25/2007 07:43:00 PM  
9 Comments:
  • At 2/26/2007 07:11:00 AM, Blogger Space Mom said…

    Oh no K! Sending some hugs because I sometimes want to run away too! Too bad you Small mountain university and my big city univeristy are too far away.... a little coffee and bitching sounds like fun

     
  • At 2/26/2007 07:18:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ugh! I am sorry, been there, know that AWFUL feeling, and would not wish it on anyone.

    Hoping things turn around soon, and that house hold help is now the norm.

    Erika

     
  • At 2/26/2007 11:22:00 AM, Anonymous SBird said…

    I am sending you an email...maybe a little cabin therapy would do you good?

     
  • At 2/26/2007 02:06:00 PM, Anonymous Theresa said…

    Hang in there. Strewage sends me over the edge too and most of it is my own.

    Just asking-have you ever tried Aleve for your arthritis? I really like it better than ibuprofen or Tylenol for that kind of pain.

     
  • At 2/26/2007 06:01:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dittoing the recommendation for Aleve (naproxen sodium). Definitely worth a try. I have to be careful with it, though. Back when I was taking it every day for repetitive wrist stress from carrying my newly adopted toddler around, I started to have "ringing" in my ears to the beat of my heart (pulmonary tinnitus?). So I try to take it only every other day and make do w/something else between times.

    Tie a big knot in your rope and hang on!

    Cheryl

     
  • At 2/26/2007 06:50:00 PM, Blogger Kate said…

    SpaceMom--If I ever get out east of the Mississippi again, I'll look you up for some coffee and bitching!

    Erika--The dotter is going around saying we need to keep the living room and her bedroom clean FOREVER!! A laudible sentiment, but a bit over the top. ;-)

    SBird--Aw! You are a real sweetie!

    Theresa--I don't know why strewage does it to me. It's not like I'm a good housekeeper--but my stuff gets put into nice neat stacks, and doesn't spread all over creation. As for the Aleve--YES! I went and bought some yesterday morning, took a couple after I posted, took some before bed, and things are much, much better today!

    Cheryl--I'll keep an ear out for the side effects. Aleve/naproxyn is one of my faves (ibuprofen is great for the kiddo, not for me).

    All--I am hanging on, and today is much better. Thanks for the sympathy! It was just one of those days.

     
  • At 2/26/2007 09:09:00 PM, Blogger Carol Anne said…

    Sorry you've had a sucky couple of days. I know a couple other women who are wishing for a retreat from the mess of life (and of house) too.

    With you in spirit.

     
  • At 2/26/2007 09:53:00 PM, Blogger Staci Schoff said…

    Oh there is nothing like a mess at home to finish me off when I'm feeling generally crappy... Hopefully this is the beginning of feeling better for you.

     
  • At 2/27/2007 12:25:00 PM, Blogger Miss Cellania said…

    I'm sorry. I've been there, its no place to be. I hope things look rosier for you soon.

     
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About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
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