A "good enough" mom muses about alpha moms, adoption, computers, the State Of The World, Internet quirkiness, and the Kosmik All
This 'n' that

Happy Big

About two years ago, OmegaDotter began asking me, "Are you happy little or happy big?" "Happy little" is accompanied by the thumb-and-forefinger-an-inch-apart gesture. These days, I am happy to say, I am almost always "happy big". Contentment seems to be my thang right now. Yay. A little soupcon (how do I get the accent under that 'c'?) of excitement for the future adds to it. Anyway, if there were a way to bottle the feeling of contented-cat that I'm feeling these days--emotionally lolling in the sun, as it were--I think I'd make a fortune.

Phoenix Rising?*

So for some odd reason, out of the blue, I decided I wanted to find Phoenix again. I was on an infertility listserv with her for eons. We were fairly good buds...then OmegaDotter erupted into our lives, and over time, my IF links became less frequently visited, then never visited at all. They just no longer were relevant to my life (sorry, IF folks, but that's what happens sometimes!). It wasn't a conscious thing, it just happened. Like drifting away from old friends. Anyway, I googled "Phoenix Amon", and, lo and behold, one of the hits was in a four-year-old post on an adoption blog I love, because the author writes thoughtful pieces about adoption, infertility, openness, race, etc. Does anyone know where Phoenix is? Other possible titles: "It's a Small World" or "Six Degrees of Separation".

Social Butterflies

Amazingly for such a bunch of homebodies as we are, the weekends between now and New Year's are full to the brim. We have a "Lollipop concert" to go to next weekend--a kids' downsized version of "Peter and the Wolf". The next weekend, we have a guided tour of Arcosanti, Grandma's 102nd birthday party (woohoo!), and the Nutcracker. The weekend after that, we are headed to SoCal. Then, of course, there's Christmas. This is very unlike us.

Christmastime is Coming

So Dyson is having this sweet special these days: purchase a brand new Dyson, and get a FREE!!! toy Dyson. Well, dayum. Why didn't they have this neato-keeno freebie when I succumbed to my inner Yuppie this summer?? When OmegaDotter and I went to the mall to purchase frilly Christmas dresses and other stuff, we wandered through Sears. OmegaDotter was smitten with this stupid thing. As a result, I can almost understand the frenzies of the "gotta-have" Christmas toy. I mean, I am almost tempted to spend $70 to get one of these things via a "Buy NOW!" on eBay. The kicker is that the folks in the UK and Australia can get them from their local toy stores--but can we U.S.ians? Oh, noooo. No, Dyson is having their lure-the-desperate-parents-in giveaway, deviously timed for the holiday season, and no toy stores in the U.S. are carrying them. Wanna see this gem? Image courtesy of one of the aforesaid UK toy stores, MailOrderExpress, which will gladly ship to Ireland, Wales, Scotland, the Guernsey Islands, but not to the U.S. Bah. We do, however, have two Asian New Year barbies, courtesy of Amazon.com's two-for-one, which swept like wildfire through the Chinese adoption community, courtesy of a posting on The Big List. And some horses.

Categories: [This 'n That] [Family] [Cuteness]

posted by Kate @ 11/29/2005 10:03:00 PM   5 comments

Cuteness
Last night, while snuggling with OmegaDotter as she was striving to NOT go to sleep, she began to sing. I heard this tiny, tremulous, soulful, emotional voice. And it was singing: "On top of spaghetti All covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball..." And then she fell asleep. Categories: [Cuteness] [Family]
posted by Kate @ 11/29/2005 09:57:00 AM   1 comments

Wakefulness
Do you ever lie awake at night, with lists running through your head, that won't go away and let you sleep? If I'm not sacked out at 9 p.m. with OmegaDotter, I tend to stay up late. Then I'll snuggle into bed with OmegaDad, striving to keep my ice-cold feet away from the lovely temptation of the back of his knees (succumbing to the temptation is, I am sure, a valid excuse for murder). And then the lists begin. Christmas letter...cards...have to put old Christmas letters up on the website so the folks who haven't gotten one in three, four years can see what's happening...what to get the Dotter...what to get OmegaDad...have to clear the top of the glass-front bookcase (dear Gawd, there's a shitload of dusty stuff up there!) to put the mini-tree and other decorations on...have to peer at the top of the bookcase and entertainment center, clear those off...find some stocking hangers...oh, lord, I have to put together a basket or two for the holiday party raffle at work...I want an iPod or similar player...oooh, those laptop prices are sooo tempting...damn, I need to get my shit together and get the dependent care flex-account claim in, it's not like it's a real savings account...but I'm glad I haven't done it since March, because it'll be a nice chunk o' change to have around the holidays...I'd really like to finish painting the beams in the living room...I wonder if we'll have enough $$ so I can order those double-cell blinds...will that really help us save money in the winter?...I wonder how much they cost...damn, OmegaDad forgot to clean the air intake filter again this weekend...maybe I'll just hire someone to come & crawl into the crawlspace to see how our floor insulation is doing...surely I can pull myself together to get my old clothes out of the old dresser, haul them off to the Goodwill...gotta do it before the end of the year, so we can get the deductions in this tax year...I can do one hour a night after work, right?...yeah, so I'm a lazy SOB, damn, you know I'm not going to do that...how the hell am I going to function at work tomorrow, I've got to get some sleep...we really, really need to get OmegaDotter's room set up... Blah, blah, blah. It just gets started, and then there I am, it's 2 a.m., the little mental rats are running faster and faster in their little exercise wheel. There's a theory I've heard, that if you just turn on the light and write down all the to-dos on a pad, it short-circuits this roundabout. And then I get to sleep, and an hour later OmegaDotter comes dashing out of the bedroom and snuggles into bed with us and starts doing The Foot Thing. Remember the tales of the "Chinese Water Torture"? Where the person being tortured is tied down, and a drop of water goes splish...splish...splish onto one spot on the torturee's body until the physical sensation becomes excruciatingly painful? OmegaDotter's Foot Thing can result in the same sensation. She's learning--now, if I say, "No Foot Thing, Dotter!" in a grumpy, sleep-laden voice, she hears it subconsciously and tries to stop. But it's a compulsion of hers. It makes her feel soothed and comfortable. I just wish she could transfer it to, say, a pillow rather than a body! Can you tell I didn't get much sleep last night? Categories: [This 'n That]
posted by Kate @ 11/28/2005 06:23:00 PM   1 comments

Thanksgiving
What is Omegamom thankful for?
  • Indoor plumbing.
  • Thousands of years of glassmakers and the optometrists who piggybacked on them.
  • LASIK surgery.
  • Antibiotics--Zithromax RULES!
  • Modern medicine. Multiple folks at Omegamom's place of work have had to have stents put in recently. While OmegaGranddad's stent operation didn't work, and he died, it's nice to know that so many folks out there can have their hearts repaired without cracking their chests open.
  • Modern reproductive medicine. While it didn't work for Omegamom and Omegadad, it's worked for many, many people, and I'm happy for them.
  • Our darling Omegadotter, who is turning into a little girl by leaps and bounds.
  • OmegaGreatGrandma is still alive and kicking at--get this--102!
  • Central heat, even with the cost of fuel so high this year.
  • The Internet. Hmmmm. Maybe I shouldn't be thankful for that--it's a dreadful addiction...
  • Omegadad, who is way cool. WAY cool.
  • That it won't be snowing when we drive down to OmegaGranny's house.
  • That last year's sturm und drang in the family is gone, over with, finis. Thank god.
  • Lots of good friends.
A hearty and happy Thanksgiving to all my vast (::snerk::) array of readers! Categories: [Family] [This 'n That]
posted by Kate @ 11/24/2005 08:08:00 AM   1 comments

The best one
Jeanne Marie Laskas, a columnist for the Washington Post, adopted from China twice. She recently wrote a column about a friend being worried about bonding when they brought their baby home. I love JML, and followed her columns as she went to China to adopt #1 and then #2. (In fact, I followed her columns before that, because she was temporarily on an infertility list I was on, too!) It's a great article--but there's one thing I have to say: If you meet your child and *don't* feel that immediate bond, IT'S OKAY. You're not weird. You're not strange. You're not a cold, unfeeling person. IT'S OKAY TO NOT BOND IMMEDIATELY. And, yes, I'm shouting. Because I don't want people who are soon to meet their babies thinking, if they don't bond right away, that there is "something wrong" with them, with the baby, with the adoption. Because there are lots of us who *didn't* feel that immediate bond. Oh, I felt "in love" right away, but I also felt, in a way, detached. It took at least six months for me to feel "love". It took me a year to really, truly feel "bonded" to my daughter. At this point, I can look at her when she's just being herself, doing something goofy, and my heart aches with love for her. The kind of oh-my-god-she's-so-wonderful-beautiful-smart-funny love that kicks you in the chest and takes your breath away. (Of course, since she's 3 [almost 4], I can also feel the utter exasperation and irritation that only a 3-year-old can bring you!) But I didn't feel that kind of love at first. It took time to grow. And, of course, I feel that we got "the best one"! ;-) Categories: [Our Adoption] [Adoption Issues]
posted by Kate @ 11/20/2005 11:27:00 AM   1 comments

Tempus fugit and all that...
Three years ago (well, plus 2 weeks, eek!), Omegamom and Omegadad were waiting for a referral. We had been waiting fourteen months since our dossier went to China. When we first started the whole process, the wait between DTC (dossier to China) and referral was 8 months. By the time we got our dossier to China, that wait had crept up to 12 months. Within a few more months, the wait had crept up to 14 months. And there it stayed--because the Chinese Central Adoption Authority had slapped a quota system on, so they could catch up with the backlog. So we waited. And we waited. And we waited. Luckily, I was on A-Parent-China, the BIG Yahoo Group for people adopting from China. While it is, at times, a source of conflicting rumors, an endless collection of clueless questions from newbies (which I was once, so I'm not knocking it), discussions of ladybugs (good luck, supposedly) and red threads, it is also a grand place to keep up with The Wait, and know just where you stand. So, as time passed, we knew, at every step, just how much longer it should be taking. I knew it was going to happen. I informed Omegadad. Omegadad had to go out in the field that week (boo!), but gave me the cellphone number for his work phone. And on that day, I got the call. I had been so prepared. I had a list of questions to ask. Did I ask them? Oooooh, no! I was just so overwhelmed, it was a miracle I managed to write anything down on that sheet of paper. An hour later, I got the email from our agency, with a pic of OmegaDotter. And I called Omegadad. And we turned into sobbing messes. Wow. In all her early glory: As she looks now: It's been a grand three years. Categories: [Our Adoption] [Photo Posts]
posted by Kate @ 11/19/2005 06:41:00 PM   1 comments

Fiddling
So I have added an archive calendar to the blog. Way cool, check it out. Alas, this means that I am aware of just how poorly I have been keeping the blog up-to-date, as there's just one entry in November (now two), and just one entry in October. Bad, bad Omegamom! I will add more now! Categories: [Bloggy Stuff]
posted by Kate @ 11/19/2005 06:37:00 PM   0 comments

Dinner Chez Omegamom
This weekend, when OmegaDotter and I went to visit OmegaGranny (OmegaDad was working on a paper for his master's level philosophy class), we all went to lunch at an awesome eatery. And I had a salad TO DIE FOR. It was simple. Classic. Unutterably yummy. So I went home, and informed OmegaDad that I had to try to duplicate the recipe, because it was high in fiber (thus good for me, as I have recently learned that my cholesterol is sky high), full of antioxidants, and just plain tasty. Now, it ain't quite what we had at lunch on Saturday, but it's damned good. First, a vinaigrette: 1/4 cup raspberry vinegar 1/4 cup olive oil 1/2 cup (oh, just call it "a lot") of chopped basil Whisk it all together. Now, grab a handful of baby spinach from your Big Bag From Sam's. Make it a generous handful. Spread it on your plate. Grab your bag of walnut halves, and break them up over the spinach. Do as much as you feel like. Get some blue cheese (the original had gorgonzola, which seemed much creamier and mellower, so if you've got that, use it instead). Crumble chunks all around and over the spinach and walnuts. Now, open a can of pear slices. Artistically arrange six or eight around the top of the salad. Store the remainder for an encore in another day or two. Spoon some of the vinaigrette over the salad. Don't go hog wild, but don't skimp, either. Enjoy with nine-grain toast or freshly baked French bread. Oh. My. Gawd. It is to die for. Categories: [This 'n That] [Food]
posted by Kate @ 11/07/2005 07:46:00 PM   2 comments

Hurling chunks
I used to think that was a pretty awful saying. Now I think it's merely descriptive. The OmegaDotter has been sick the past two days, running a gawd-awful temp of 105.3F when the Tylenol etc. wears off. In the midst of chills, leg pains, and fever, she has also Hurled Chunks. TMI, I know. But there it is. It's not pneumonia (thank heavens). It's not the flu. It's Something Else. For which we have antibiotics. Zithromax, by the way, canNOT be flavored with chocolate. Learn from me: do not tell your child that her medicine will be chocolate flavor until you find out if that particular medicine can be flavored with chocolate. I, alas, did not. From nicer days with The Dotter, obligatory Halloween pics: The horsie in her full glory: Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com Preparing to Trick-or-Treat. Notice the grimace. This is what happens when Omegamom or Omegadad commands, "Smile!" It is a recent occurrence. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Categories: [Family] [Photo Posts]
posted by Kate @ 11/07/2005 04:57:00 PM   1 comments

About Me
Name: OmegaMom
Home: Southwest
About Me: Middle-aged mom of a 4-year-old adopted from China. Love science, debate, good SF and fantasy, hiking, music of almost every style. Lousy housekeeper. "Good enough" mom.
See my complete profile
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